Kelley's story: becoming Mum to Archie

Kelley's story

My husband Sam and I married in 2017, and the following year we started trying for a family. I’m a little bit older than Sam and was worried there may be some issues, however on speaking with my GP they said to start trying anyway as I was healthy and fit. 

I got pregnant eventually after ten months of trying, but unfortunately the pregnancy ended in miscarriage after just 6 weeks. I actually got pregnant quickly after that which also ended in miscarriage. At this stage I was 40, so even though I was older and had been trying for over 6 months my doctor told me to keep trying. The NHS wanted me to have three miscarriages before investigating, but I instinctively felt that something wasn’t right. My body was telling me something wasn’t going to work and we decided to go privately to investigate. 

We went to our local fertility clinic and had various tests which showed that my AMH level was at rock bottom, actually lower than it should have been for my age. Together with our clinic, we decided to do back to back freeze-all rounds of IVF to create as many embryos as possible to do genetic testing. The first batch unfortunately all came back as unviable and we weren’t able to use them. 

After the fourth round of IVF, I started thinking that perhaps donor eggs might be the way forward. I felt I really started the grieving process around that time, and mentally adjusted long before we actually discussed it. My husband took a little bit longer to get his head around it so we did a fifth and final round, but again, all embryos were unviable.

Our clinic suggested using donor eggs as our next route as it would be highly unlikely that I would be successful in having a baby with my own eggs.  

When it came to the decision to use donor eggs, we agreed that we wanted a family together, and if this was the way we were having to do it, then this was what we would do.

We came to Altrui & Apricity to register for a match and 3 months later we had a donor. After a lot of tests she was able to start her cycle.

I felt that it was a real relief, a weight off my shoulders that hopefully there would be a family at the end of this. Using donor eggs actually took the pressure off me, and the fact it wouldn’t work with my own eggs. I’d processed the loss of my own DNA by now and was just excited to get going! 

After a few months our donor had her egg collection and we travelled to her local clinic to have the embryos created and then frozen. We had a frozen embryo transfer two months later, after a medicated cycle to get my body ready to go through with this. There was still no guarantee this would work so we felt very anxious during the two week wait, however amazingly our first transfer was successful! We attended a Biffy Clyro concert just two days after the transfer and I think it was that which encouraged our little man to stick about, he had good taste in music!

We had a little boy Archie from that first embryo transfer, born last summer - he’s just turned one! It’s still a pinch me moment really, it doesn’t feel real that we have this little person here, I didn’t think it was going to happen. Over time I had watched all of the other announcements and milestones happen to others and I didn’t want to read about them anymore, thinking it wouldn’t happen to me.

It made us stronger as a couple, even though there were ups and downs along the way. My husband was trying so hard to be strong for me he sometimes forgot to look after himself! Sam never had any doubt though - he knew what we would create, regardless of whether it’s with donor eggs, would be ours - he has no different feelings about our son because of it. 

I just think that if you want a family, and if you want a little person to love and hold, then it doesn’t matter whether it’s DNA or not.

The moment he was transferred into me, I immediately felt that he was mine. I never felt any doubt or worry about bonding. The bonus was I was able to carry him, once he was there kicking me in the tummy while I was trying to sleep I felt completely bonded to him.

I feel forever thankful to the selfless lady who made this possible. We are so eternally grateful for this amazing gift.